People marry for different reasons: some weird, some funny, and others crazy; only few marry for the right reasons. In the first part of this article, I pointed out ten reasons why people go into marriage, but as good as they sound, it’s never the best rationale for getting married.
You need to understand some things about marriage, before you plan to get married. Marriage is not experienced like what you see in movies or soap operas, those are scripted.
Marriage is what you and your spouse make out of it. Mind you, your reasons for getting married would determine the outcome of your marital life, and your experience in it.
Why should you be married?
Let’s go straight to those major reasons why you should be getting married fast, and I mean it.
1. When it’s not good that you should be alone
There are many single men or ladies whose life would have fared better if they were single and whole, rather than being single and empty, and then rush into marriage.
If you’re familiar with the scriptures, that phrase was the state where Adam was before God saw that it wasn’t good that he should be alone.
It is good that some married and unmarried persons should be alone because they do not understand what marriage is, they do not know who the right partner is and how to find him or her, and many of them haven’t discovered their divine purpose before their quest for a spouse.
See, it wasn’t the day God created Adam that He planted him into the institution of marriage. That you have a car, an apartment, or a lucrative job could still mean that it is good that you are alone if God were to pass His verdict over your life. Unfortunately, many dabble in marriage, an institution which they should enjoy now became an endurance trek for them.
It is one thing to be alone, and it is another thing to be lonely. Loneliness is a negative emotion, while being alone is to be without a helper that should partner with you to fulfil destiny.
You should not be married because you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend; or for flimsy, or mundane reasons as many do. Be married when it is not good that you should be alone. And when should that be?
Look at the life of Adam, and take a cue.
- He had God’s nature and character in him.
- He had a job – a keeper of the garden.
- He had a divine assignment he was fulfilling – naming the animals.
Many go into marriage or marry someone who is godless, carnal, and beastly in character. Truth be told, you won’t marry an angel, but never be yoked together with an unbeliever. A person who doesn’t believe in sexual purity is an unbeliever, even if he or she goes to church or holds a notable position there.
Marry someone with the fear of God, not someone whose personality impresses you, or their financial worth gives you goosebumps, or their social status makes you go gaga. The nature and character of the person you marry is important, don’t trade it for gold.
Let’s move forward…
That a person works in an oil company does not mean they can take care of you or you should be married to them. Many have a good job, but not a good character. Some have a good job, but they are married to their job more than they do to their spouse.
Meanwhile, the major reason why it is not good that you should be alone, which should fuel your drive to be married is because you have discovered your divine assignment and you’re fulfilling it. It is not good that you should be alone when you need a partner to fulfil destiny, not when you need sex or someone to cook for you.
Marriage is an extension for the fulfillment of your divine purpose. Discover it. Don’t go into marriage if you haven’t discovered your divine assignment. You know why? It is one of the major criteria to know who you should marry, and who you should never marry.
If you marry before you discover your divine assignment, you’d likely marry a misfit to the fulfillment of your ordination. Marry a man or woman who is doing something for God, and you’re also doing something for Him. And together, you jointly fulfil the purpose why He created you two. However, this does not mean you should go ahead and marry a pastor, marry someone He’s leading you to, or to you.
2. When you are divinely led
It is one thing for God to lead you, it’s another thing for you to be led by people, lead yourself, or by things (their physical appearance, personality impression, financial worth, spiritual charisma, material possession, social status, or intelligence).
However, you can’t be led by God when you don’t have His Spirit in you. It is what is in you that would lead you to a person for marriage. Some are led by lust, infatuation, desperation or pressure; let God lead you.
Meanwhile, you may not be physically attracted to whom God is leading you to, but overtime, attraction will build up. Don’t place physical compatibility above divine guidance. Looks can be enhanced, but deceptive, and you should never substitute it for divine guidance.
3. When it is right in His time
There’s time for everything, many know this cliché, but little do they know that there’s also a divine time. Everyone has a time they have set to achieve certain things, however, many do not consider God’s timing for their lives or to be controlled by it.
A thing may be right in your time, but not in His. Scripture asserts that He makes everything beautiful in its time. There’s God’s appointed time, and there is man’s allotted time.
Marriage would be right in His time when He prompts you to take a step in that direction, or He leads you in that direction. You can lead yourself into marriage out of frustration, desperation, or pressure, but you’d bear the consequences alone.
When it’s right in His time, lines would fall in pleasant places for you based on His guidance you’ve received. This is why it is crucial to have a relationship with God so you can be led by His Spirit, and not your flesh or men.
So, if it is not good that you should be alone, and you have His leading to journey into marriage, and you’re sure it is right in His time, why dilly-dally? Other things to enhance your getting married should be your spiritual, financial, emotional and financial maturity.
These 3 major things and others are important reasons why you should be getting married. Don’t go into marriage if you do not have them. Above all, marry for those right reasons, and not for flimsy or mundane motives.