Everyone wants to be married. Isn’t it? We felt life would be a rollercoaster ride as soon as the pastor declares: “You may kiss your bride.” But wait a minute, there’s more to marriage than getting married.
Many singles who are whole and healthy, are far better than many married people. It’s good to be married, never get me wrong, but it’s better if you’re married as a whole and healthy single, and then marry a whole and healthy partner.
When a sick and incomplete single marries the same kind of person in marriage, they would have a sick and boring marriage. But when the right person marries each other, and they involve the right Person and principles, they would have a heaven-on-earth kind of marriage, regardless of the challenges they face.
Now that you’re not married, don’t you think it is good that you should be alone?
I know your mates are married with kids, but it is good that you should be alone for now until you do the needful before you say, “Yes, I do.”
Why is it good that I should be alone? God said to Adam, it’s not good that a man should be alone, however, there is a time when it is good that he should be alone. If you go into marriage when it’s good that you should be alone, you’ll marry the wrong person, and you’d be ill-prepared for married life.
Never forget that there is time for everything. What you do now that you’re single can either prolong your single days or shorten them.
Understand this, it is one thing to be alone, it’s another thing to be lonely. Loneliness is a negative emotion and it can be cured when you discover what life is worth living for, and you’re productive in that regard.
However, to be alone is a state where you’re without a partner or helper to fulfill the purpose why God created you either in a marital or a destiny relationship. Take note of this, marriage is never a cure for loneliness; you’d be more lonely in marriage if you do not find a permanent cure to it before marriage.
Why it’s good that you should be alone. Take a cue from the life of Adam.
- When you haven’t discovered your divine purpose
- When you don’t have a job
- When you don’t have a relationship with God
- When you’re incomplete
Let’s digest them one by one.
1. Why did God create you?
It’s an assumption to say that you were created to serve and worship Him when your life doesn’t connect to that statement. You must specifically know what you have been created to do on earth.
For Adam, he was assigned the role of naming the animals; for Moses, he was to bring the Israelites out from Egypt; Joshua was ordained to take them to the promised land, and Jesus was sent to save the world.
Did you know why He created you?
Your divine purpose doesn’t equate to your career or ambition; neither is it the same with your passion or business. You can only know it when you ask in prayer, it’s not assumed. It’s not a desire, it’s prayerfully discovered (Jer. 33:3).
If you go into marriage without knowing why you’re created, you’d marry the wrong person, and your marriage would be boring, making no impact on the world.
It is good that you should be alone if you have not discovered your divine purpose, so you can do the needful before marriage.
2. Do you have a job?
God gave Adam a job – to keep and dress the garden; this looks like a gardener. He had a source of livelihood and since he was employed by God, he’d be paid by Him.
You need to be financially buoyant now that you’re single before you contemplate the issue of marriage. Don’t ever dream of marrying a rich person, be wealthy enough to be a blessing to whoever you marry.
Get a job; it’s not enough to say you’re not gainfully employed in a white-collar job; what is in your hand that you can do that earns you a means of livelihood? Learn a trade. Hone your skills. Be diligent in the utilization of your talent. Marriage doesn’t make you wealthy even if you’re married to a wealthy person.
It is a good thing for you to be alone if you don’t have a source of income. Don’t go into marriage as a liability, be an asset. Don’t be a financial burden to your spouse, be a blessing.
3. How’s your relationship with God?
The first thing God gave Adam was not a job, an assignment, or a spouse, he was given the privilege of communion with God. You’d be overwhelmed by the challenges of married life if you don’t have a relationship with Him.
Going to church doesn’t imply that you have a relationship with Him, likewise, becoming a member of a church, or of the workforce department. Having a relationship with God is a personal thing, and it must be cultivated.
- Are you a churchgoer or a Christian?
- Are you a church member or a disciple of Jesus?
- Are you His sheep or a goat?
It would be easy to know who to marry, and who you should never marry when you have a relationship with God. It’s a lack of intimacy with God that would make you seek mediums (pastors, prophets, or seer) before you know His mind.
It’s good to seek guidance from men of God, don’t get me wrong, but they must never take the place of God in your life. Know God yourself.
4. Are you complete?
It is one thing to be wholly single, and it’s another thing to be incomplete. It is not marriage that makes you complete as a single, it is then you maximize your single life to be a healthy single, not in the terms of physical health, but emotional, financial, spiritual, and social.
Deal with your emotional instability, weakness, and immaturity. Don’t be an emotional burden or baggage to your spouse, resolve the issue of your past so it doesn’t affect your marital life.
Address the issue of financial dependence now that you’re single. Don’t be a financial liability to your future spouse; get a job, learn a trade, hone your skills, do legal and godly things that would fetch you money.
Whole singles are financially independent, spiritually sound and intelligent, socially responsible, and emotionally balanced.
Do not go into marriage when it is good that you should be alone, if you do, you’ll endure what you ought to enjoy, and you’d likely marry the wrong person.