The number of ladies who have been trapped in a toxic or wrong relationship due to their emotional weakness is much more than those who are emotionally mature and are free.
Why is this so?
Several things constitute a lady’s emotional life, especially those who have not mastered it. What goes into her ears, how she feels, who made her feel that way, what she’s thinking of, and the situation she finds herself in would affect her emotions.
More so, the reasons why most ladies are trapped in a wrong or toxic relationship is largely due to FEAR. Yeah, F-E-A-R! That word has held them back from opting out of toxic relationships.
A relationship is said to be toxic because of its terrible effect on your emotional, spiritual, academic, mental, and financial life.
And these fears that held them bound are:
1. Fear of being lonely
It is one thing to be alone, it’s another thing to be lonely. Loneliness has a permanent cure, but the solution to being alone isn’t a toxic relationship, but marriage.
Adam was alone because he had no companion to help him fulfill God’s purpose for his life, but he wasn’t lonely. But many ladies are trapped in a wrong relationship because they’re lonely.
Meanwhile, your antidote to the fear of being lonely is to discover and pursue the fulfillment of your divine purpose. No relationship can cure your loneliness, not even marriage. You can be married and still be lonely, but you can never be fulfilling your divine purpose and be lonely.
2. Fear of starting again
Making mistakes in life isn’t the greatest failure on earth. Abraham Lincoln failed several times before he eventually became the United States president. If he had feared starting again, he would have been a total failure.
Staying in that wrong relationship is the beginning of your failure if you remain there. I know you have invested much into it, but a failed relationship doesn’t make you a loser.
Start again. God doesn’t patch a wrong or toxic relationship. It won’t work. It is when you start again that you can attract the right person. The longer you stay in the wrong place, the difficult it is to get to your right destination.
3. Fear of what people will say
Whether you fail or succeed, people will say something. Isn’t it better for people to sing your praise than for you to become their songs of mockery?
Staying in a wrong relationship because of what others would say will do you more harm than good. Because of what people will say or do, King Saul spared those he was commanded to destroy.
I’m sure you knew the outcome – he was rejected by God as a king. It is better you quit that relationship now, not minding what people would say, than for you to be rejected by God because He has considered you unfit for His use.
What is the way out of a wrong (toxic) relationship?
1. Know the truth
No matter your past mistakes, there’s always a God who is ready to convert your mess into a great message when you return to Him; and this is simply the truth.
The truth is that you will get the right person if you give up your wrong relationship. You can’t change that person, it is the Holy Spirit that convicts people to bring the change God wants in their life.
2. Hold onto the truth
Many know the truth: they believe God can do it, but because of fear, they held onto lies. The truth you know (mental knowledge) cannot deliver you until you act on it experientially.
If you believe He can give you the right person, what are you doing with the wrong person now? Don’t manage him or her; quit, and let Him guide you to marry the right person.
3. Control your emotions
Your emotions (thought) would always find a way to cast an aspersion on your mind if you don’t control it. Thoughts would come to make you relish those moments you had in the wrong relationship. If you continually feed your mind on it, you’d find yourself back in it.
So, when those thoughts come, cast them down using God’s Word, by confessing it out loud, or you meditate on it.
4. Let go
How can you be healed from a knife cut when you held firmly onto the knife? No sick man can be healed without taking medication, either physical or divine. Let go; this is the first step towards your freedom from the wrong relationship.
Many ladies are trapped in a wrong relationship because of their ignorance, and fear thrives in it. But those who know the truth, and act on it shall be delivered.
What other fears do you think have entrapped some ladies in a wrong relationship?