Confused over what?
When it comes to knowing who to marry or choosing who to marry, lots of ladies, even Christians are confused about making the right decisions.
Confusion is not a good state of mind because it can lead to frustration, desperation, or making the wrong decisions in life. One thing you should know is that when it comes to decision-making, you must not act like a lady, but think like a man. Does that sound weird?
I know you’re a lady, and ladies are more emotional than men, but most times, they judge things based on how they feel; only a few are wired to be logical. If you want to make the right marital decision, wear your thinking cap, not your feelings.
You’d be confused when you leverage on feelings instead of common sense. Why would you choose a man because of how he made you or what you feel about him? This isn’t to say that feelings are bad, but they should never be your yardstick when you’re making a marital decision.
A wrong man can make you feel good by promising you heaven and earth, whereas, the right man may not catch your fancy.
There are many reasons why ladies are confused and their confusion usually leads them to wrong choices, such as tolerating an abusive partner, staying in a toxic relationship with the hope that it would change, or being afraid of losing Mr. Available when Mr. Right isn’t forthcoming.
Why are they confused?
1. They don’t know what they want
It is one thing to know what you want in life and go for it, but it’s worrisome when you don’t know what you want and you’re looking for it.
That’s just the state of many young unmarried ladies. They don’t know what they want in a man, and they’re looking for the right man. If she were a Christian, she’d complain that he likes prayer too much (brothers, there is time for everything too). If she meets another one, she’d complain that he doesn’t go to church.
Know what you want and go for it even if it takes time to find it, you’d surely get it. Don’t settle for Mr. Ready when Mr. Right is on his way.
2. They can’t differentiate between their needs and wants
Ask an average lady the kind of man she needs and you’d be surprised how she’d describe what she wants.
He should be tall, dark, rich, and handsome, plus God-fearing (for those who go to church), but he should not be too spiritual. Some would even go ahead to tell you how much he should be earning, the kind of apartment he should be living in and all that.
As good as they may seem, they’re far from what you need. A man may not be TDH, but if he has a vision, he loves you genuinely and he has the fear of God, plus you’re sure he’s God’s best for you, marry him o.
What you need is different from what you want. You may want a man who you can pride in his achievements or status, but God might be preparing you for one of His sons who you need.
Don’t sacrifice what you need for what you want because what you want may look better than what you need, but that’s not the best for you.
3. They’re too emotional
Steve Harry’s famous book and also a movie title perfectly describes how ladies can overcome confusion, “Act like a Lady but Think Like a Man.” If you don’t, you’d mess things up.
The antidote to being impulsive is either to be logical or spiritual.
If you’re not a Christian, being logical would bail you out of most messes ladies find themselves in. However, as a Christian, walking in the Spirit transcends logic.
Let me explain further.
It’s emotional to act based on how a guy made you feel when you know that what you’re doing in the relationship is wrong. For instance, a guy who wants to have coitus with you can pamper you to a fault because of what he wants to gain, but if you’re logical, you won’t take his being caring to heart because it could be laced with sinister motives.
Meanwhile, for Christian ladies who are spiritual (or walk in the Spirit), they would subject their emotions under the control of the Holy Spirit, not because they’re superhuman, but because they understood the principle that governs the human appetite – walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
I’ve not seen any lady who made the right marital decision in life that was emotional, most of them are either logical or spiritual. Men respect and fear ladies that are logical or spiritual because they can’t be easily manipulated.
A man can have it all and may not be God’s choice for you; if you’re emotional, you’ll go for him but regret it later in marriage. More so, if you don’t know what you want, you’d settle for what looks good to you, but is not the best.
Joseph knew what he wanted so he ran away from his master’s wife’s sexual offer. It’s easy to define what you want when it aligns with what God wants. Meanwhile, if you’re doing one leg in the world, and one leg in God, you’re deceiving yourself.
So, how can I overcome confusion of any sort?
Care to know?
What you need is light – wisdom, truth, revelation, illumination, and insight. For as long as you pay more attention to your physical outlook than the condition of your soul, you’d be confused.
Looking good is fine, but is your spirit and soul enlightened? Read good books, be purposeful in life, but pursue God. If you follow God more than you follow what’s trendy, your spirit man would be lightened.
Many ladies have eyes, but no sight or vision. It’s not your physical eyes that would bail you out of confusion, but rather the eyes of your inner man. That part of your mind that makes you know the right thing to do and empowers you to do it is the light I’m talking about.
Confusion comes because there’s darkness within your soul, but when light shines through your mind, darkness would give way. Are you investing more into your spirit and soul than you’d do to your body?
Eat, for the journey is far.